


The Goth One (The Young Ones)

by KAckerman



Category: The Young Ones (TV 1982)
Genre: Awkward Dates, Awkward Flirting, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Goths, Innuendo, Original Character(s), Punk Rock, Teenagers, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28327299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KAckerman/pseuds/KAckerman
Summary: In which Alice a goth girl studying medical examination travels to the UK and gets to be the 5th housemate and meets the famous bastards. Will Alice get along and fall in love with either of the punks Rick or Vyvyan or will there be more chaos since living with four guys will be rough.
Relationships: Rick (Young Ones)/Reader, Vyvyan Basterd/Original Female Character(s), Vyvyan Basterd/Reader
Kudos: 2





	1. Meeting The Bastards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice is kicked out of her house so her paremts make her fly to the U.K and finish her studies there. She's given an address which leads her to an apartment filled with crazy, odd but lovable guys. Being the only female there won't be easy but slowly they start to get along.

I can't believe my parents would kick me out of the house! According to them I would stay in my room all day and mope arpund but that is a lie, the reason I stayed inside was because I was busy with my homeworks and would constantly lose hours of sleep. As an only child they were taking their rage out on me. I huffed in annoyance and held my bags when I stared at the old looking apartment in front of me.

It was a long ass trip from New Jersey to London but I hope this is worth it. My parents made me a deal, to finish my studies, make some friends, and graduate myself. My father is half british so that also meant he has a brother living nearby who, I don't remember much of him since I met him when I was a baby.

All my life I've been fed up in my room since everyone back then would bully me since I am a goth and rarely interacted with people. I had to also work on my anger issues since some other family members basically barged into our home and began to live there without any payment.

I guess I just got tired of it all which is the reason I am not too upset I left.

I walked up the stairs and got my key out but I realized the front door wasn't even locked. Ignoring it I pushed the door open and walked inside, "Hello?" I made a stop and my mouth fell open when I saw the interior and that alone made me want to grab my bags and run off.

The inside of the apartment was a complete mess and up ahead lying on a carpet was some food with a pot. "Oh no. Bad karma again. Guys, there's some dinner on the floor if you want it." I stared weirdly at a tall man with long hair. A hippy. "Umm hello?" I whispered poking the mans back and he instantly jumped and looked at me.

"Who are you?" He asked incredulously but just when I was going to respond we were pushed back by someone. Another tall man dressed entireoy in black with a few pins on his lapel stepped in looking pissed.

"Well? Have you decided to apologize about what you said about Cliff Richard?" He quickly said and shouted right after. "Look, I don't want to discuss it! Okay? Ha-- I wouldn't even discuss the color of orange juice with you, Neil. Heh! But I've written a poem and I think perhaps it might help you.

"It's orange, Rick, and look, I don't want to depress you or anything, but like, you're standing in a huge mound of lentil cassarole."

The angry looking man took out a small notebook and began to recite."Oh Cliff! Sometimes it must be difficult not to feel as if. You really are a cliff. When fascists keep trying to push you over it!. Are they the lemmings, or are you Cliff? Or ARE you, Cliff?"

"Yeah. That was really pretty bad, Rick."

"Bad for society when the KIDS start to get into it!"

"I'm gonna kill myself now." The other tall man said and shoved his head into the oven.

"Pretty angry stuff, right? Let them try and ignore that, right?

"Those clever trousers in the army! And the police, and the government, if they can!

"I see things much more clearly now! Bye Rick."

"Yes, g'bye."

The angry one said writing away without bothering to look at the man wantjng to kill himself. What is happening around here?

"I'll probably come back as a lentil.

"I might even be put in prison! And have water DRIPPED on my head! I might even get a personal message from Cliff!

"Oh, wow! This is the end, man! Doesn't anybody ever suss out cleaning this oven except me? Aw, w--this is so dirty, man, uncool! I bet you could look inside all the dirty ovens in the world, right, and you can--even the ones at the bottoms of swamps, and you wouldn't find one as dirty as this one." The man amazes and disgusted stared at the oven.

"Neil! Why don't you listen to me, Neil? Why don't you listen to ME? Y--d'you find me boring or something? Look. Look. That's a saucer. THAT'S boring. Look.

The one known as Rick held up a saucer up next to his face for comparison, pointing at both for effect. "Pretty different, really, isn't it? It's not really the same thing at all, is it Neil? NEIL! I will not be associated with saucers!"

"Excuse me!" I shouted trying to tap the man but he ran past me and began to break things. Right then a door next to me opened and I saw another man about my height walks in.

"Hi guys! 6:15, enter Mike the cool person for his dinner. Strolls across the floor, "Hi Neil," he says, looking good and already warming up "Is that supper?" The one known as Mike asks pointing to the black in Neil's hands.

"No, no, that's supper over there." Neil corrects and points at the lensils on the carpet,

"Why are you smashing up saucers, Rick? Your prints on 'em? I know just how you feel, man, y'dig? Sometimes saucers used to make me pretty angry too. Yeah, there's a lotta heads buried at the bottom of the garden because of a saucer in the works."

"I suppose you think it's pretty weird, don't you Mike? Well. You'd be right. 'Cause THAT'S the kind of guy I am, right? WEIRD. Sycophant!"

I stared between both men horrified and cringed when Neil tried to scoop the casserole up from the floor. "Guys, I really think we ought to get it together maybe to eat something, you know?"

This is my chance. "HEY!" I shout and gained everyone's attention. "Oh that's right I forgot about you." The hippy says in a low voice.

"How dare you forget such a lady like this, Neil." The one known as Mike says standing from his seat and smiling at me and winks. "And who might you be?" He extended his hand and I shook it.

"Allison Cates but Alice is just fine." I smile and the tall man nodded and wiped his dirty hands on a cloth and shook my hand too. "Well I'm Neil. It's a pleasure to have you here."

I smiled back and turned to my side and took a few steps backs when the man stepped closer to me. I felt a bit intimidated especially since he was a lot taller than me. "Is this Al? Our fifth roommate? I thought it would be a boy not a girl!" He spat out and glared at me.

"Oh that's right. We heard an Al would be arriving today, guess he heard it wrong. Turns out Al is actually Alice." Mike said and wouldn't stop smiling. He's the flirt.

"P-Pleasure to meet you." I forced a small smile and extended my hand again. 

"Rick." He looks like a Fred to me. Rick simply said shaking it and quickly pulled his hand away and cleaned it against his blazer. Immediately he saw something on the floor and I realized it was a rat. "A rat a rat!" I quickly went to the other side of the room and got on top of a seat, Rick then grabbed a guitar and smashed it, killing the rat.

"There all done."

"Geez Rick, my grandfather built that on his death bed." Neil whined starinf at the now broken guitar. "Like I care." Rick replied and raised an eyebrows and looked at me from head to toe.

"Get down from there woman!" I did as told and threw a dirty cloth on the dead rat and took seat since Neal 'prepared' dinner. He placed some lentils on a small plate in front of me and didn't even bother to touch.

Then Neil began to explain how this would be his last meal and that he would kill himself. "Yeah, okay, okay, right, like house meeting, okay? Yeah. Like, I know four pounds fifty is like a hell of a lot of bread to lay out just for a lentil casserole, but I did a lot, right? I've finished building my gallows, and it's totally far out, you should see it Rick. Like, when the trap door opens, and I, like, die, it lights Joss Sticks and plays "Rock Around The Clock"; it's totally amazing.

"Oh, far out. Really great. WOODSTOCK."

I screamed and jumped in my seat when someone bursted into the room by crashing through the wall directly above the supper table. He's holding what is apparently a disembodied leg? 

"Oh, fine, great, yeah. Why don't you sit in the supper, man, yeah." Does this normally happen here?

"Vyvyan, you might have washed ye hands!" 

The walks over to the sink, kicks it completely off the wall, and runs his hands through the stream of water now flowing. I stare at the weird orange haired punk guy who looks also pissed off.

The punk then came over and pushed me out of my seat then sat on it. Miks stared at him then me and helped me up and I sat down next to him. "It's not nice to push a girl, Vyvyan!" Rick shouted.

"Now that's new. I've never heard of Rick here defending a girl." Mike chuckled looking between us.

"Eww no girls are disgusting!" Rick quickly defended himself ans gagged when he said that. 

"And who the hell are you?!" The red haired man shouted. That can't be his real voice. "This is the 5th housemate, Alice. She's studying arpund the same medical field are you so maybe you can get along." Mike suggested and Vyvyan only nodded.

"Vyvyan? Isn't that a girls name?" I asked but Vyvyan rolled his eyes. "Because my parents thought I was a girl!" I stayed silent and stared down at my food and heard the boys arguing. Which led to Vyvyan pushing Rick's face onto his food and Neil saying his goodbyes to us.

"Shouldn't we be worried for him?" I stand up looking worriedly at where Neil left. Everyone said "No" and resumed to eating. 

Neil decided to enter the room again. "Um... Look, I'll see you on the other side, okay, lads? This is really it, I'm going, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, see you, Neil." Mike said looking away from his friend.

"Yeah, bye, Neil." Vyvyan said next eating his food.

"And um, you can forget about the bread, okay, man?"

"Hey, listen, it's just like going to sleep, okay?" Mike seemed annoyed by him.

"But I'm an insomniac, Mike." Neil replied

"So what are you worried about?"

Neil look at Mike then rhe rest of us. Surprisingly Rick was quiet. "Oh yeah, thanks. Thanks, Mike, bye. It was nice knowing you even though it's been less than an hour we met, Alice." Neil said shutting the door again and disappearing.

"Look. Nobody's fed Special Patrol Group, have they?" Who? I turned around and saw Vyv wakk over to a cage and saw a small hamster in it.

"I think "Special Patrol Group" is a stupid name for a hamster!" Rick shouted back.

"Okay, I'll change it, then! Hello, Cliff Richard!"

"Bastard!"

The hamster then proceeded to bite down on Vyvyan's finger. In pain, Vyv pulls his hand out of the cage, hamster still attached, and begins trying to beat the creature off by smashing it on the table. I began to chuckled at that which made him hit me with the hamster on his finger.

He went over to the cooking pot and dumped the hamster into it. "Oh, thanks a lot, Vyvyan! You know I'm a vegetarian!" Rick angrily shouts getting up from his seat

"Vyvyian! I really think you ought to feed that hamster more often!"

"Look, I don't want to spoil him, okay?"

Vyvyan pulls the hamster out of the pot. It is now bloated from the food it ingested. "It looks well on him, though, doesn't he?"

"How can a hamster eat that quick?" I ask myself staring at the fat creature. 

There was a whole on thr floor and like nothing Vyvyan dropped the hamster and it crashed onto the floor. I ran over to Vyv and Rick's side and stared down at the flying hamsters that landed on the basement.

********

This place felt like a mental hospital. I was sitting on a seat with Mike on the other side reading a magazine and Vyvyan behind me hitting his head against the wall. Some air left my body when Vyvyan fell down backwards on me, he held his hand and I my stomach. 

The door was pushed open and in came a chubby man wearing black with a bag in hand. "Who is he?" I whisper staring weirdly at the man.

"That's Jerzy Balowski." Vyv tells me not bothering to move from me.

"Hey, everybody! Hello, Mike, yes? Come on, let's twist again! Like we did in last Summer, yeah, yeah, yeah... let's twist again, like we didn't do in Moscow because I've never been there of course, you know, I am English person! Hi I am Jerzy, yeah, crazy wacky landlord! You know, I like very much your English punk rock stars, you know, your your ! Oh yes! I think they are F-A-B, that's English for "stupid!", yeah! Okay, fantastic! Hey, Mikey, look! Here, I have some Coca-Cola, yes? We have party, yes? Okay, let's dance, let's do the fog! You know, I am liking very much your ; thanks to him, I am never having it, yeah!

"Who the hell is he talking to?" I ask again when he introduced himself lookinf at no one. 

"And who might you be young lady? You're the newest in the residence, yes? How far are you enjoying England?" He happily says and thankfully Rick intervened.

"Mr. Balowski! We have residents rights, you know! You're supposed to knock!" A very annoyed and pissed of Rick told Balowski who ignored him.

"Listen, don't you think it's a nice house, here? Is good house, is clean house, Michael Caine and , yes? So maybe sometime you would like to pay me some rent, then we go down milk bar for soda pop, you shovel, yes?"

"Listen, Jerzy...

"Jeremy, actually." The man correxted and smiled down at Mike.

"Jeremy we listen, if you're worried about the rent, I've got that sussed. Gentlemen, house meeting, in the hall, two seconds, be there!" Mike and Rick came over and both grabbed my sleeves and I exited the room with them with Vyv behind me.

i can't even understand what the man is saying. I was confused and glamced at my side and saw the three boys whispering to each other. They dragged me back with them and sat me down, I got even more confused when the man suddenly left and I looked between the guys. "What happened?"

"I hate him! Do you think he really is British?" Rick says ignoring me like the rest.

" Well he knows a lot about the Mersey sound."

"Shut up! I'm trying to stir my coffee!

"No, listen! We got a letter from the council! They're going to demolish the house tomorrow!" 

"Tomorrow? But I just moved in!

Suddenly there was dramatic music and lightning. I looked around the place and Mike spoke, "But I was going to turn it into an entertainment complex! This room's a roller disco! Hey! I'm depressed! It's Nine Below Zero!"

We turn around and this day continues to get weirder when I saw the band inside the apartment. How did they get in?! I put that thought aside and began humming as they sang their song and played their instruments.


	2. House Demolition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys are protesting to keep the house from being demolished but since Alice is living with them she is forced to take part in their disastrous plan. How will it go for them?

The band stopped playing and I watched them normally leave without saying anything. I glanced back at the guys and locked the door behind me so no more random strangers would appear. Vyvyan stood up from his seat, "Listen, Michael, there's no need to worry! I've got a plan with which to thwart them!"

Vyvyan then threw a teacup against the wall where the sink used to be. The noise of suddenly flowing water on the otherside of the wall could be heard. He then jumped through the hole he made and came back in through the door breaking it then ran and crashed over to the neighbors and Rick followed him and he shouted at Vyv. "Vyvyan! This isn't our house!

"Well who's is it, then?"

"Somebody else's!"

I begin to giggle on my spot on the couch and both of them came back in. Rick then came and fell down on the couch but further from me. "Will you stop it, Vyvyan!" Rick shouted from his spot.

Vyv took a seat and I could tell he wanted to break more things. "Listen! If we don't smash the house up, the council are gonna demolish it, tomorrow!

"That's all very well! But finally, after years of stagnation, the TV people have woken up to the need for locally-based minority programs! Made by amateurs! And perhaps of interest only to two or three people! It's important, right? It's now! And I want to watch!"

Rick turned the tv on and Vyvyan runs past us. I glanced back and saw Neil sitting behind me on the floor, why does he have his hair over his face? Also wasn't he going to kill himself?

"Rick"

"Ssshhh! Shhhhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhhhhhh! Shhh-shhh!" He gestured for me to shut up. Some program started and not long after I shrieked when Rick raised his shoe and began to kick the tv. He stands up angrily and Mike does too. I look behind me and see Neil is no longer sitting there.

"Did you see that? Did you? "The voice of youth"! They're still wearing flared trousers! Why don't you try a bit of poetry, you hippies!" Rick takes things way to seriously.

"Rick, Rick, the council are gonna knock the house tomorrow!"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes--so you keep saying! But they'll never do it! This is a student residence! A seat of learning?"

"The council have okay'd it, babes, okay?"

Rick suddenly realizes that Mike's right. "Oh, right on! Right on! Typical! Human beings are the last consideration! Take a street, any street, an English street, filled with life, and hope, and poetry--

"Not the whole street, just us! It says we're a health hazard."

"But I live in the launderette!

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's okay. It's okay, because... because the letter is signed, "T. Smith, Miss." See? You see, "T. Smith, Miss"?

"Yes, yes, yes.

"Yeah, yeah, I even believe it's perfumed. Dust off the duvet, lads. I'll handle this."

●●●●●●●●●●●●

Mike and Rick had placed a curtain in the hole Vyvyan made so it wouldn't make me uncomfortable and give me some sort of privacy from the neighbors. I was in my pajamas and had my luggage next to me, I was huddled on the sofa clutching my blankets and holding a bat I found lying around, it was probably from Vyvyan.

The living room was dark and I jumped a bit at every noise I heard, I was terrified. About two hours ago I went up to visit Neil in the bathroom and he told me he was never down here with us, meaning that figure I saw early sitting behind me wasn't Neil.

There were no other rooms available which meant I had to sleep on the couch. The boys came by earlier and tried to agree where I would sleep. 

Mike is a flirt and could make a move on me.

Neil said his room was dirty.

Vyvyan could probably attack me in my sleep.

Rick said no girls were allowed in his room.

There was a loud crash behind me and I quickly got up dragging the blanket with me as I ran up the stairs. And stood on the hallway which room belongs to them? "Screw this I'm not dying in England." I opened the first door and felt my breathing quicken.

"What are you doing here?!" I looked to my side and saw Rick on his bed reading something. "Please let me sleep here!" I begged him and even placed my hands together. Rick stared at me weirdly as I began to tell him everything.

Rick began to laugh and wiped his eyes. "You're scared of a ghost? Ghosts aren't real! Only stupid people like you believe in them. Go on shoo." He said standing in front of me and trying to shoo me away without touching me.

"Insult me or do whatever you want but let me stay!" I whined and clutched his shirt ans he tried to push me off of him. "I'll buy you a Cliff Richard vinyl of whatever you want, I'll even clean the entire house if you want."

"Don't be stupid girl, we have to demolish it tomorrow." He succeded in pushing me but he looked away from me and he looked different, his cheeks almost looked red. "I warn you I don't want a single sound coming from you." He warned me and sat down on his bed and got under the covers.

I smiked and rapidly nodded my head and locked the door just in case. "Thank you, Rick." He didn't reply. I ran to the other side of the bed and covered myself and rested my head on the blanket. I could feel Rick slightly pushing me closer to the edge with his foot when I closed my eyes and heard the lights turn off.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

We woke up early and luckily the five of us began to talk and get to know each other some more. Yesterday was strange and awkward for me and considered moving out if they continued ignoring me which was strange. I never cared if people ignored me or calles me names, I've only known these 4 for a day and they've grown on me.

My bags were still laying on the couch and I went outside to get rid of some garbage and heard Rick rehearsing something. I looked up and saw him attached to a cross right outside the house. "What the hell are you doing?" I mouthed at him when he saw me.

He rolled his eyes and I saw a lady walk past me and Rick began to say. "House! House! House! O, you're made of stone! But you're not a lone-ly house! I am here!" "I've got myself a walking, talking, living, walking, living doll!"

"Excuse me!"

"If you're looking for the house that's going to be demolished, it isn't this one! I think it's the one on the other side of town!" Rick shouted looking down at the woman.

"Excuse me!" She continued.

"Old lady are you deaf?!" I shouted from my spot. I looked up again and saw Vyvyan who broke the window with his head and "Another half-hour, just a little more time, okay?"

He then bit off a brick with his teeth. Surprisingly, the brick explodes in his mouth. "Some of these bricks explode! That's good, innit?"

"Excuse me."

"I mean, why don't you just go and live in Iran, right? Or Russia?"

I began searching around the place and found some balloons we filled up with paint and begsn to throw it making the different colored paints splatter against the walls. This house means a lot to the boys so I'll defend it with them.

As I continued to throw Neil emerged from the house carrying a huge pot. "Listen everybody, I've, uh, stewed up some lentils and some seaweed as a sort of a last positive action. Hey Rick, man, what are you doing with my cruicifix, man?" He looked up at Rick confused.

"I'm protesting!"

"Yeah but I really think I should lay this one on you, man, that's a really negative way to kill yourself, you know, like, I've tried it, hundreds of times. There's no way you can hammer in the last nail."

The woman then spotted us and came closer, "Excuse me, are you the lease owner for these premises?

Neil began to stutter"Oh, uh... I'm being hassled in the street by a chick! She's making me paranoid, man!"

"Stop making him paranoid, you slag!" Rick shouted at the woman. Is she deaf or stupid?

"You wouldn't want to go in there lady. There was corpses inside the house and the very sight of them will make you wish you were never born." I say trying to scare the woman. Hehe that's what I always did with people who were afraid of goths.

I hugged my cardigan to myself trying to remain warm and Neil backs up uncertainly with his pot, runs into Mike and falls to the ground. Mike is standing coolly wearing a tuxedo, sunglasses and carrying a pool cue as a cane. He chalks the cue, then confidently eats the chalk. "Hiya, baby."

I try my very best to not laugh. Neil tries to sweep the lentils back into the pot. "So who turns on your bulb in the wee small hours?" He considers this flirting?

"I'm sorry?

"If the world's an egg, Border collie, then this kid's the lion, stamped on the side."

"Thank you, now what I really need is your rent book."

"You know the French for duvet? I'm talking a hundred-percent cotton. Mmmm! I'd like to find your duckdown stuck to the soap."

"Uh, that's enough. Now what I really want is--"

"Open-mouth surgery? Feel my scalpel. You ever done it on a beanbag? Baby, I do it inside beanbags!"

"All right."The woman suddenly grabs Mike's shoulder and turns to the van, singing out a piercing operatic note. Men exit the van with implements of destruction and make for the house. I run away from the men and covered my ears, that's when Vyvyan emerged from the house.

"Don't worry lads! These bastards won't get away with this!" 

Vyvyan ran past us and to his bright yellow car, and drives it into the gate surrounding the house. Neil ran ahead and places his head between one of the demolishers' hammers and the wall.

"Yeah, come on, man, you'd be doing me a favor." Neil closes his eyes and waits for the blow. The man hammers around his head.

"See our plan didn't work!" I shout back and threw a huge snowball at the woman who fell to the ground. I've never fekt this excited in my whole life! I continued to throw until we heard a nearby plane.

"Oh no! That plane is going to crash on us!" Rick shouted at us. The five of us looked up with concern and Vyvyan inside the car looking up with excitement and then BOOM!


	3. New Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a day since Alice began living with the four housemates, but after their house has been demolished they are now heading into a new one with more mischief and more odd thing's happening around them, and a fight happens to see which rooms to sleep in.

"Crap, crap." I mutter and continue to run up the crumblings stairs and carefully stepped out of the window where Rick was still tied up. "Someone get me down!" "Will you shut up?!" I carefully step closer trying to not fall due to my long skirt.

"Christ, can you be any slower?!"

"Shut up I'm trying."

I untied one of his hands and was about to do the last one when there was another boom and I ended up sliding down and desperately dug my nails down. "I'm gonna die, i'm too young to die!"

Rick quickly untied his other hand and came over to help me. I grabbed his hand tight, "You're too heavy." I ignored his comment and made it back inside safely with me. We jumped up from the stairs and quickly saw him and the rest of the boys grabbing their belongings and running back out.

"Oh great! There goes our plan, Mike!" Vyvyan looked at Mike who rolled his eyes and we stared for a while looking at the house being demolished.

"Neil, you should've given me your pot full of lentins. Maybe I could've it to them." I refer looking back at the men who stopped and the entire roof fell down.

"How the hell did a plan suddenly crash down here?"

"That's what I always ask. Many weird things happen to us." Neil gloomly said. I held my luggage with Mike helping me with one and we began to walk away from our home.

The five of us continued to walk and we made it up to a two-level house, very similar to old one. Neil is carrying a suitcase and a guitar, Vyvyan has a duffel bag and skeleton, Rick has several bags like myself, and Mike has his suitcase.

We stopped and examined the building from the outsìde. "Oh, bloody heck! Is this the new house?" Rick was the first to speak and looking at it disgusted.

"Well, I think it's very beautiful, Rick." Neil tried to make things better.

Mike said and we followed Neil and opened the gate. "No, it just makes a change from the old one."

"Well, I think it looks like a giant lavatory." Rick insisted. We walked up the the stairs to the front door.

"Boys it doesn't look that bad."

"Look, it's got a letter box. That's going to be really useful."

Neil agreed with me but Rick was fast to say otherwise, "For what?"

"For looking out of it when people knock.c

"And look! It's nice to have a front door! Finally we won't have people barging in." I placed my bags down and examaned the door.

"We had a front door at the last house." Vyvyan tells us. "Yes, Vyvyan, but it was nailed to the ceiling in the living room!"

"Rick, it had to be done."

"Yeah! I had to! I was drunk!"

"Well that isn't happening again with me here. Just give me the key." I look up and hold my hand out. Rick removes a key on a string around his neck, handed it to me.

"No watch this very closely." I hold onto the key and turned it around, opening the door. "You see? I don't know the place too much so I'll need one of you to help me make some copies in case any of you get the key lost."

They all ignore me and race inside. "Boys!" I glare at where they left and they didn't even bother in helping me with my bags. Such charming boys and I thought British people were polite and helpful.

I angrily grab my bags and made it in and locked the second door behind me. "Finally I won't sleep on a couch tonight." I begin to sway a bit back and forth when I climbed the stairs and heard the usual arguing.

"This is my bedroom!

"Oh yeah?

"Yes, I was here first!

"You got any witnesses?!

"Look, I don't need witnesses! Just get off my property!

"No."

I stood still staring at both men pinching and punching each other. Rick then threw a pipe but missed it and broke the window.

"Look, it must be my bedroom. All my clothes are here."

Nexe thing Rick threw Vyvyan's clothes out the window. " No, they're not, Vyvyan."

Vyvyan then strikes a match and set the bed on fire.

Vyvyan then strikes a match and set the bed on fire   
"All right then, have the bedroom."

"I don't want it. It's not mine."

"Yes, it is!"

"Will you both shut up! It hasn't even been fifteen minutes and you've already destroyed a window and burnt the bed. Mattresses aren't cheap you know!" I remind them.

Vyvyan and Rick looked at each other and together they ran out to stairwell, "Alice, your bedroom's on fire!"

My mouth fell open and I let out an angry screaming and raced over to the bathroom and poured some water on the flaming mattress. "Neil, your bedroom's on fire!" I yelled and quickly grabbed my bags and ran down the stairwell and found an empty and nor broken bedroom.

"Mike, would you mind helping me out?!"

"No can do my sweet, Alice. I'm terribly busy." I heard him shout from upstairs. I was curious as to why he was busy so I climbed the stairs again and peeked my head inside his room. It was dark but his suitcase was on the bed.

There was an inflatable female sex doll. With some lingerie scattered around the room, and s hanging a bra on the doorknob. "Eww." I pulled my hand away.

"Oh, Mike! Please! Don't stop! Oh! Oh!! Oh, no!! Yes!! Yes!!!" Mike played a tape and a female could be heard moaning. I gagged and felt dirty.

"What is wrong with this creep?" I rubbed my eyes and turned my head sideway and there was Buddy Holly hanging upside down by a parachute, covered in spider webs??

Mike stopped the awful recording and noticed the singer. "You're Buddy Holly!!

"That's right! You know something, I just love your English beetles. Mind you, after 20 years of the suckers, I ain't got much choice!"

Why is Buddy Holly suddenly here and upside down?

"I thought you were dead!"

"Lots of folks did, but it ain't harmed my career any." Buddy laughs and continued to listen to Mike, "You got any new material?"

Buddy nodded his head. "Well, it just so happens I've been writing a song up here. It's a song concerning my diet. It's called "Kinky Daddy Longlegs". You wanna hear it?"

"Oh, yeah!"

"Right now?"

"Well, there's no point in hanging around."

Buddy begins to play the guitar and sings. "Saturday night. Hanging round for a bite. Find a real cutie with the dust mite blues Hangnail, high tail, fairy tale, very well. Finding anything that I can chew."

I continued to listen to him strumming his guitar and wondered how his glasses nevee fell off his face.

"Coo coo daddy longlegs. Rough it up, rough it up, oh oh oh oh. Rain fly pie with a mosquito side salad 23 years on a meat-free diet Beetles, crickets, gonna get you sick. It's here's a little sucker and you ought to try it. Coo coo, daddy longlegs. Hope it makes more money than "Peggy Sue" "

Right then buddy's parachute lets loose and he crashes down, his head breaking through the floor. I covered my mouth. I just witnessed Buddy Holly die!

Mike sighs, and puts down the calculator, goes over to Buddy. "Well, I'll probably get a few quid on the guitar.

Mike began to get closer and I hid when he went someplace else. I walked inside the room and grabbed the guitar before Mike came back. I stopped and glanced back at Buddy Holly. "I'm sorry." I muttered and ran down to my room.

●●●●●●●●●●●

"There all done..mostly."

I smiled at the result of my room. My bed was right next to the window with two small tables on either side and a lamp on my side. I placed a carpet in the middle of the room, placed all my clothes in the closet and placed a desktop with a mirror near the wall with a small stool.

All that's left is to make it a bit more of my style and paint the walls. I wonder if there's something to eat! I walked down and heard the usual bickering.

I wonder if there's something to eat! I walked down and heard the usual bickering   
"Three! Where's my supper?!"

"Well, it's not quite finished, actually." Neil sounded netvous at Vyv shouting at him. Vyvyan grabbed a plate and smashed it over Neil's head. Neil falls, sprawling on the floor.

Rick also joined in and shouted at an unconcious Neil   
Rick also joined in and shouted at an unconcious Neil. "Oh, that's right, Neil, yeah! Lounge around! Have a good time, while we starve to death! Beatnik!"

"And you've broken my favorite plate!"

"Well, I suppose we'll just have to cook our own supper."

I stepped closer and watched back at Mike carrying Buddy's body. "Hold up you two! Neil isn't your slave. You both hands, no? So why not cook yourself."

Both exchanged looked and looked down at me. "You have hands too, so why don't you cook for us." Vyv told me and Rick attacked me as well. "Aren't women suppose to be in charge of cooking and cleaning the dishes too?!"

And SMACK. I slapped Rick and felt no regret, Vyvyan began to laugh at Rick's expression. "If you want lunch then I'll for you this time, I'll need a pair of hands so you'll both come with me to the supermarket."

I proudly told them. "...Alright since you're new and all." Vyvyan looked away from me and ran out of the house, thankfully he didn't break the door.

I ran after him and Rick without saying a word and holding his red cheek followed me. I hugged myself when it started to get chilly and breezy again. "You're gonna like here! We aren't far away from the usual stores and the grocery is just a few blocks away."

Vyv spoke and had his hands shoves into his pockets and ignored the stares he got from some people. Well they were probably looking at us three.

"Glad to know we aren't that far from society." I tease and shivered at the cold.

We made it to the grocery and I began to shove all kinds of food in the cart. "Rick, Vyvyan would you mind bringing me the cereal?" I asked looking down at my list of groceries.

None of them answered. I looked at my surroundings and both weren't around, did they ditch me?! I huffed and went to the next aisle and grabbed the remaining food. I placed my short hair in a pony tail and began to carry the many bags and walked out the store.

"Alice!"

I turned around and saw both of them running up to me. "And here I thought you both ran off. If you did I would've punched you both." Rick sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Here!" Vyv shoved something to me making me place the bags down and hold the item he held out. I unfolded the item and saw that it was a denim vest similar to Vyvyan's but it has black sleeves with a black hood.

The jacket had a few pins from bands like Sex Pistols, The Clash, Joan Jett, Siouxsie and the banshees and a patch of England's flad on the left shoulder.

I felt emotional and happy. And to think they were being dicks to me. "Aww guys you're too sweet." I hugged Vyvyan and kissed his cheek who gagged and tried pushing me away.

I leaned up to do the same to Rick but he pushed my face away and I frowned. "Well I'm starving! Let's head back before Mike and Neil make a mess."

"You coming, snot face?"

I placed my jacket on and watched the both of them carrying the heavy bags I had. I smiled at them and raced after them with a blush on my face.


	4. Viva El Presidente

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The five housemates are getting along just fine now. Mike and Vyvyan think there's oil under the house so they want Rick, Alice and Neil to dig and find some. Alice escapes and heads to class before any of the guys wake up.

"Let me help!"

"All you want to do is eat out of it! Leave the pot alone." I try to push Vyvyan away since he kept on shouting that he was hungry. "Move aside! I guess I have to make my own supper." Rick pushed us aside bur as soon as he touched the stove it exploded and we all jumped back and watched on fire.

"Nice doing prick!" 

Both of them started acting like children and I ran over to grab the fire extinguisher and put the flames out. I tiredly stare at them and they continued with the bickering. "Will you both shut up! Now we need a new stove, Rick you're buying it." Rick looks at me offended by telling him.

"Why should I do it?!"

"Because you blew it up."

"You heard her, Rick. You better pay up." Vyvyan began to laugh and Rick looked at him pissed and faked a laugh, "Oh ha ha, very funny Vyvvan!"

I went over and pushed their backs and got them out of the kitchen area. "I was going to make some nice spaguetti, guess we'll have to eat a salad." Both of them got the message and went over to sit on the couch. 

Surprisingly enough they weren't at each other throats like they usually are. I began cutting the lettace and it's vegetables and continued to glance up at them every now and then. Neil joined them and they were watching tv.

I placed a bit of salad on small plates and chopped off some chicken I was lucky enough to buy already cooked at the grocery store   
I placed a bit of salad on small plates and chopped off some chicken I was lucky enough to buy already cooked at the grocery store. 

"This is revolting!" 

"It's amazing what you can come up with with just flour and water." I heard Vyvyan and Rick speaking to Neil. 

I grabbed three small plates and walked over to them. "Well boys, this is all I could do. Next time I'll do a proper meal if somebody doesn't blow up the stove." I pointed it out to Rick who said nothing and grabbed his plate with the rest of the guys.

Slowly they started to eat their meal and stared intenrlt at the tv. "What is that little white dot?"

"It's a little white dot."

Neil replied to Rick. I looked at the tv and noticed it wasn't on. "Oh, very clever."

"It must be a really old telly."

"What, hippie?"

"Look, there's a sign in that little white dot. It means something really heavy. It means, there's no more telly. Time to go to bed. I'm going upstairs now to finish painting my astrological star chart, all right?" Neil stood up, thanked me for dinnee and left.

Rick looked past me and uo to where Neil left. Do you really think that anyone has ever been the slightest bit interested in anything you say or do ever, Neil?! God, fascist. He sighed and gripped his plate tight. 

"Are you going to bed, Vyvyan?" Rick called out when he stood up.

"You're going to bed this early?" I ask surprised by it.

"Of course!"

"No. I'm going to watch the dot for a bit longer." Vyvyan called out and sat up straight looking at the screen.

"Wish we had a video. Then I could tape it and watch it in the morning. Oh, well. Nighty night." Rick left leaving me and Vyvyan alone. I stood still and glanced over to Vyvyan's side and my eyes widened when I noticed that figure with long hair sitting next to him. 

I immediately stood uo and ran up the staires and hurriedly past Rick and went to my room which was across from his and I locked the door shut.

Unfortunately all the conversation happening outside could be heard through these thin walls. "Bastard! What're you doing standing outside my bedroom then, Mike?!"

"There's only the floor to sit on, Rick."

"Oh, ha ha, very funny. I suppose you think it's very clever to laugh with three million people on the dole! Well, could you just get out of the way, please? I want to get into my bedroom.

"Well, you're not exactly dressed for it."

"What?"

"ell, all right. All right. I won't stand on convention, he never stood on me. That'll be a fiver. For the room, not the game."

"Five pounds to get in my own bedroom?! Hah! What have you done, turned it into a roller disco?"

"Mike, quit being such a weirdo and get those people out! I have first classes early tomorrow." I shout from my room. Seems like Mike once again did something stupid. Who in their right mind decides to throw a party at night? I undressed myself and heard Rick shouting.

"Mike, you bastard! Alice, Neil, help!"

"Oh, wise up, Rick. Look, this world is like a burnt steak. Small, tough, and the chips are always stacked against you."

"You're always so pleased with yourself, aren't you, Mike?! Always think you're so bloody clever!

"Yeah. I've arranged for you to share Neil's bedroom."

"What?! I'm not sharing a bedroom with that rubber johnny! I'll just go into Alice's room!" My eyes widen and I raced to the door but Rick beat me to it. Both our mouths fell open and I felt my whole face go red since I wasn't in my pajamas.

I put my gown on and he quickly closed the door behind me and left. "Rick! Get your ass in here!" I opened the door and glared at where Rick left then Mike.

"What happen?"

"Rick saw me half naked!"

"Well..it's a shame I missed that." Mike smirked. I hit his arm and started to climb the stairs again.

"All right, Neil, shut up! Before you say anything, I entered Alice's on accident while she was undressed so now I've just tossed a coin for who gets the bed, and you lost."

"Oh, uh, OK, Rick."

"What?"

"What?

"What'd you just say? You just called me a bastard, didn't you?! You better not, Neil!Cause let me tell you. Me, Mike, Alice and Vyvyan are getting pretty sick of you."

"Oh, quit being so dramatic. I haven't fotten tired of Neil." I respond making my way up.

Right then screams and I hurried and saw a deera head on Neil's bed. I also screamed but it was also because Rick had his pants off. I looked away and hid my blushing face with my left hand. Mike came barging in too, "OK, it may seem a little heavy-handed for one pound 50, but when I lend somebody money, I expect to get it back. You know what I mean?"

I turn and look at him weirdly. Vyvyan then comes in running almost knocking us out. "Mike, I've struck oil! We're going to be rich! I found oil in the cellar!"

"Vyvyan, for heaven's sake..."

"Easy, easy, easy. Spill the beans, and I don't mean in the tub."

Vyvyan begins his explanation. "It's very simple. I was playing "Murder in the Dark" in the cellar, and I was getting really bored. So I thought, I know, I'll crack the floor with my head. And when I did, this huge spill of oil came out!"

This is bad news. Mike smiles to himself, "Now, listen, this could be very big, I mean family-size. Tonight, we sleep on it."

"What, all five on one spurt?"

"Son of a gun, we're going to be rich! House meeting, tomorrow morning, nine o'clock, in the broom cupboard. And, Neil? I want that one pound 50 by Wednesday, or another moose dies."

I yawn and hurried to my room before anything else could happen. "Wait, haha I'm lucky tomorrow i have school and i won't have to work in the cellar." I smirk to myself and began to tidy some things around and got onto my bed, pulled rhe sheets over me and turned the lights off.

●●●●●●●●●●●○●

As quietly as possible I turned the doorknob and peeked my head. "No one's awake, good." I whisper and closed the door behind me and I held my bag ansd the books I would be needing today. I got up extra early so none of the boys would notice me and make me stay to help them with this oil problem.

Still not making a single sound I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen preparing myself a bagel and tea. I wasn't fond of tea before but it's what the goys love to drink every day so I've gotten used to it.

It wasn't long when I heard mumuring nearby. It appears Neil and Rick are awake. "Does seem strange that Mike should call a house meeting in here. I mean, I've never been in here before." 

"That's because this is where we keep the cleaning stuff, Rick."

"No, it's not, Neil! It's because we only moved in here yesterday."

"Actually, I'm surprised that anyone except me knows this place even exists. Cause to you lot, I have as much importance as a, as a, uh...."

"Hippie."

"...Hippie. It happens to be me that does all the cleaning around here." Neil complained.

"Moan moan moan. Boring. Just because you do a little bit of housework."

Those two can five anyone a headache. "What? A little bit?! All right. House meeting, OK?

"This is a house meeting, Neil."

I continue to silently listen while drinking my tea. "hat's what I'm saying. Is it? Well, where's Mike, Alice and Vyvyan then?"

"They're late. We're only here on time because you kept me up all night, pacing around up and down and ringing bells. I should've slept in the other room. Maybe sleeping with Alice again would've lighten up my mood." I heard Rick now complaining again but it made me choke on my tea.

"Listen, man. Sleep gives you cancer. Everyone knows that. And what do you mean sleep again-"

"Listen, Neil. Do you know the difference between you and some number two's?! Nothing! Stop crying, Neil.

"'m not crying, Rick. I got some dust in my sinuses.

"Well, that'll teach you to stop skiving on the cleaning then, won't it."

"Oh, no."

"What?"

"I'm going to sneeze, Rick."

"Neil, no!"

The floor began shaking when a big explosion happened. I ran over and saw Rick and Neil stagger out. "Is it a traditions of yours to cause an explosion evedyday?" I say surprised and see smoke coming out. 

Neil sniffed and pouted, "Sorry, Alice."

"I thought you weren't awake." Rick says surprised to see me here and saw my usual black clothes but with the jacket he and Vyv gave to me.

"Here they are, El Presidente!" Vyv shouted from above the stairs. He ran past me and pushed Rick and Neil into the living room floor.

Why is Vyvyan wearing a helmet and holding a cricket bat. I step back standing next to both on the floor and in comes Mike wearinf a weird outfit. He is wearing a black leather trenchcoar t rhat reaches down to his feet, a hat and chewing a cigar. He looks like one of those over exagerated action movie villains.

I begin to laugh at myself and Vyvyyan salutes Mike when he steps in. "El Presidente!"

"What the ruddy heck is going on?" Rick asks from the floor.

"Shut your face, traitor!" 

Vyv then proceeds to hit Rick in the crotch with the bat. Oww his future kids will definetly feel that. "Hey you can't just do that to a mans dick." I try telling him with a mouthful of bagel.

"Hah! Missed both my legs!" Rick grimaces and continues.

Vyvyan ignores me and hits Rick in the head.

Neil looks behind them and then at the carpet and picked a gum that was laying there. Gross. "Silence."Mike says and Vyvyan shouts the same.

"Gentlemen, lady, good morning. I'm glad you could all make it, cause if you hadn't, you wouldn't be here." "Wouldn't be here." Vyv repeats the same thing

Mike continues, "Now, what were you two doing in the broom cupboard?"

Neil begins to stutter. "Uh...oh, yeah, we were having a house meeting, yeah."

"Impossible.

Once again Vyv shouts and now hits Neils head. "Because Colonel Vyvyan and myself held a house meeting a quarter of an hour ago upstairs. And, I'm afraid to say, under the new regulations, non-attendance at house meetings is punishable by death. I would like to overlook this, but unfortunately, you three seem reponsible for certain other criminal activity."

"I don't have rime for this." I groan and was held back by Rick placing both his hands on my feet so I wouldn't move. I begin to squirm and glare down while Mike continued to speak.

"Namely, loitering with intent...conspiring in the broom cupboard..and damaging police equipment..However, I, El Presidente..."

"Viva El Presidente!"

" ...I am prepared to give free amnesty if you behave like good citizens and dig up all the oil." Mike tells us and I scoff at that.

Rick looks back up at them, "You fascist junta!" 

And again he got hit. "Forget this. I'll be late to class." I pushed Rick onto the flood when he wrapped his arms around my legs and begged me to stay and suffer with them. I escaped from Mike's grip and began to run with my bagel and books in hand.

"Sorry boys! I'll be back in a few hours!" I shouted back and continued ro run down the streets when I saw Vyvyan chasing me but was called back by Mike. Thank heavens my classes start today.


	5. Dr Martens Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerzei Bolowski's nephew Alexei pays a visit with his band to play a song about Dr Martens boots. Alice arrives from uni and begins to find Buddy Holly's guitar. Neil is sitting down watching the band.Vyvyan is downstairs. Neil is scolding Rick for not working. Rick is trying to sell tickets and appears to be devolping feelings for Alice, though he hides it through his own Rick ways.

I checked up every now and then at the board and continued taking notes while the professor spoke and explained to the class a few parts of the human body and next week we would inspect a body together in groups. I rested my head on my hand and began thinking of the boys, "I do hope they didn't burn the house down." I begin to imagine them together peacefully watching tv or doing their homework assignments..

Who am I kidding they are probably destroying the cellar. Neil and Rick are probably working hard while Vyvyan is shouting at them to continue digging. Have they eaten yet? They probably haven't.

The cafeteria here has decent food unlike all the junk food I had back at my collage in the U.S. I raised my sleeves and saw the time on my wrist watch. 10 minutes more and class ends. I have some money on me so maybe I should fetch some more food since Vyvyan nearly ate all of the food and my box of cereal. I should consider buying a lock so he doesn't open up the cabinets.

Today's class ended earlier since the teacher had an emergency when a car accidentlt crashed into his own car at the parking lot. The weather was still cold so I made sure to bring a scarf and some gloves to put on. 

I placed the many notes and homework I got into my bag and carried two grocery bags in my hands. Hopefully they'll enjoy today's dinner.

I spotted our building and got the key out but the door was open like always so I pushed it and no one was here. "Guys?" I called out but no one replied, I went over to placed my bags by the table and began searching for any of them.

"You all right, Vyvyan? Vyvyan?! Great! This is it! I've been waiting two hours for this. It's a revolution!" 

"What do you mean, revolution?

"Blood runs! Flags wave! Come on, everybody, throw down your tools and knock down the barricade. Come on, run into the Winter Palace. Run into the Winter Palace and stand on tables, waving bits of paper at each other! Yes! Yes!! Hello, are you the Czar? Yes, I am, actually. [points a finger] Bam bam! Tough luck, fascist!!"

I pressed my ear against the door and could hear those two talking. I might as well go back before they spot me and make me work. I tiptoed away and went back into the kitchen, "I better get these hands working."

I placed some canned foods up in the cabinets with a new box of cereak. I went over and began washing some dishes, along with vegetables, rice and cutting up the meat. I opened up the bag of powdered mashed potatoes and began dumping them into the boiling water and adding some butter and salt.

While the chicken was cooking up I was sitting down reading through my book and taking soms notes and flipping a few pages to find some answers. "Why is this so complicated?!" I'm at fault here for choosing such a hard study. Maybe I csn try something else?

I tapped my pencil and began thinking hard about the work and my parents, am I really an awful daughter? They probably didn't want to see my face again and decided to fly me across the world. 

I tiredly closed my book and got up and began to cut up the lettace and adding some small pieces of mango. White rice, mashed potatoes, a nice sald and bbq chicken. I've really outdown myself.

"What's that smell?"

I jumped up and saw that it was Mike still wearing that weird outfit from earlier and he has Buddy Holly's guitar flung over his shoulder. "Food, and is that my guitar?!" I point at it annoyed that he has it.

"Couldn't find it anywhere and found it in your room-"

"You entered my room!? That's invasion of privacy, Mike. Especially if it's from a girl." I tell him beginning to get angry which made him take a step back. 

"Now now, Alice. I'll give it to you back, yeah?"

"You better not sell it." I warn him and looked back at him confused. "Why is Jerzei here?" I point at him and a band behind him.

The tall man looks down at us, "This is the band Radical Posture, and my name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five-Year Plan Sputnik Pravda Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean?"

"You know you're the spitting image of our landlord, Jerzei?" Mike says and I agree. "It's kinda creepy how similar they look..I think he's playing with us." I whisper at him and this Alexei guy smiles.

" Yeah, he's my uncle, actually, you know."

"It's incredible! You're as alike as two peas."

Footsteps could be heard and in came Rick. "Well, this is it! The massive rock and roll benefit for the oppressed workers of the hou... Hi, Mike! What're you doing here?" I turned to them and srood still listening at them.

"Never mind what I'm doing here, who are they?"

"Blimey! Search me. Perhaps they're friends of somebody's, just popped in to play a, I don't know, play a rehearsal or something. Would you like to go upstairs and lie down in your room?'

"I think I'd better." And Mike left upstairs.

"Alice!" I jumped up a bit and Rick quickly ran over to me and took my shoulders. "Christ we though you had been kidnapped, for a moment there Neil and I were considering putting up wanted posters." He says laughing.

"You know well I was in collage. How has digging been?" Rick rolled his eyes and began walking to the men. "Boring! Vyvyan got knocked out. Great! Hi, Sputnik! Or should I call you "comrade"? You know the plan, don't you? Right, at the peak of the gig, you incite the masses to rise, and we burn the Reichstag! Well, we burn Mike's room, anyway. And then, hey, presto, revolution!" 

Alexei looked look at Rick. So they know each other? "Stuff the revolution. Where's my 200 quid?"

I resumed and began checking the food so it wouldn't burn and Rick pulled out a chain of tickets out of his pocket. "Oh, I'd better go sell some tickets, haven't I?" 

Neil came in and sat down on the floor looking gloomy. "Tickets!! Anybody! Probably stuck in a queue or something. Uh, Neil, did you actually pay to get in?"

"No, I'm the oppressed workers of the house, Rick."

Oh, great. Another discussiong. I carefully from my seat watched them.

"Yes, but this is a benefit gig, you know. And the tickets are 200 pounds each."

"200 pounds? That's nearly a term's grant, man!"

"Look, Neil, this benefit is for you! This is in aid of you, to help you! And you won't even pay for it. God, how self-centered can you get! Come on, 200 pounds."

"I've only got 50p." Neil handed Rick the money. Rick handed him a ticket. "That'll have to do. Alice, would you like one too?" I crossed my arms and boredly looked at him.

I gave him a fake smile, "No thank you, Rick. You see I just spent some money on more food and I came here before the band arrived." I inform him and Rick mocks me and walked away.

Alexei proceeds to turn on the microphone and I continue reading my book. "Whoooo, yeah! It's really great to be here at this benefit, actually. Whoooo, yeah! I'm feeling kinda whoooo, yeah!"

He then paused and looked at the three of us. 

"Whoooo, yeah! This is really funky, it's kinda like one big empty room, yeah! We're going to do a number now that was a song in the charts recently about racial harmony. About black and white people living together side by side in perfect racial harmo ny together on pianos! It might be a bit stupid, like, you know what I mean, but I know pianos aren't gonna solve nothing, you know what I mean? There's one thing that unites us, one thing that we all have in common, what is it? What is that one thing?"

The band startet to play and the lights were dim. Alexei begins to sing and dances widly like he's having a stroke.

I raised an eyebrow and stared at him weirded out.

"It's not class or ideology,  
Color, creed, or roots  
The only thing that unites us  
Is Dr. Marten's boots

Dr. Marten's boots of the world  
So that everybody can be free  
They're classless, matchless, ageless and waterproof  
And retail for only 19 pounds and 99p

What should everyone be wearing?  
Those boots with the air-flow soles  
And your boots will have a meeting  
And your boots will take control

Thanks to Dr. Marten everyone will have warm feet  
Thanks to Dr. Marten they'll be dancing in the street  
No. Don't You Want Me.  
OK, Boots. Do your stuff!

Dr. Marten's, Dr. Marten's, Dr. Marten's boots  
Dr. Marten's, Dr. Marten's, Dr. Marten's boots  
Dr. Marten's, Dr. Marten's, Dr. Marten's boots!"

"What is happening?!" I stand up again and closed my book once again."oring! Don't you even know who's the enemy? What happened to the revolution?! God, you'd think "Devil Woman" had never been written!" Rick shouted at the band when the lights were on again.

Mike walked in again and looked at both men, "What're you two doing here? You should be down in the cellar digging for oil! I hope you realize that all this loafing around has cost us one day of being incredibly rich!"

"Will you quit it? They aren't slaves besides, dinner has been served." I point at them the food fully prepared. "Where's Vyvyan?" They all point at me and I went to the cellar. 

There I see the entire place a disaster and Vyvyan getting up from his puke and tripping trying to get up. "Vyvyan dinner is ready!" He looks around and spots me, he's been impaled by a pickaxe how is he not dead?

"I'll be right there, Alice." 

I looked back at him surprised since he finally spoke in his normal voice. "..Okay." I turned around amd left the door open. I walked back in and got five plates and filled them up with everything I cooked, I didn't place normal meat on Rick's plate since he's a vegetarian.

"Can we stay too?" Alexei said and I shook my head. 

"No! I barely know you, you got your money now out." I went over and opened the door for them. The man pouted and walked out with his band. I made sure to lock the door and walked back in and saw Vyvyan sitting down and holding his head.

The five were sitting down. "You outdid yourself, Alice." Mike complimented and took another bite. 

"I didn't have to cook this time, thanks Alice." Neil said with a shy smile.

"About time we had something else than lentils, thanks!" Vyvyan said returning to his normal self and eating the chicken with both hands.

"Blah blah blah. You're being nice to her because she's a girl." I ignore Rick's comment and pointed at his meat since he hasn't touched his food.

"Rick, I used vegetarian meat to cook your own. I do hope you at least taste it." I mutter. Rick stabs the fork into it and tasted it, he then went in for the salad and mashed potato.

"I haven't tasted anything like this..If you're cooking is like this, then I'll definetly marry you." I choke on my drink and every stared back at Rick wide eyed. 

"What did you say mate?" Neil asked.

Rick looked at each of us and I felt my face go red. "I-I meant..Girls are disgusting." He looked down at his plate and continued to eat. I smiled and took it as a compliment. 

"I wanted to cook you all something nice since we didn't have a proper one and I wanted to thank you all for taking me in." Vyvyan nodded and Mike who was sitting next to me patted my shoulder.

"No need to thank us sweetheart, with you around we'll have proper meals now." I frowned at that but brushed it off. "Mike, where's my guitar?"

"...I sold it."


End file.
